Signs that you are with the right person

Welcome to 2018! 2018 has kicked off on a high note for me, personally. I am happy to inspire someone who thinks that there is no true love. 

Whether you are entering or hitting a significant milestone, its natural to question whether you have chosen the right partner. Here are some key signs to show you that you are with the right person:

1. They are attentive - Small daily gestures of romance are an important part of a supportive relationship, especially when they align with your personal needs. Having a partner who notices what you need or want in a given moment and responds accordingly bodes well for the long term potential of your relationship. That attention you constantly get from your partner on a daily basis goes a long way for example if they constantly communicate with you via SMS, call or whatever means. 

2. They share your values and goals - While its okay (and perfectly normal) to have different interests from your partner, its important to be on the same page when it comes to long term goals. Differences can be great for balancing out a couple and making things more interesting socially. Prioritize similarities that have long term implications such as a shared desire for marriage or career goals.

3. They respond well to conflict - How you communicate in the heat of an argument can be a telltale sign of the status of your relationship. In fact, the amount of conflict you engage in with your partner does not matter nearly as much as how the argument is handled. In healthy relationships, each partner responds to conflict in a caring and supportive manner. If they listen to what what you are saying, respect where you are coming from, respond to your disclosures by sharing their own thought, feelings, and experiences (without the conversation all about the). then intimacy is more likely to flourish!

Have the best life experiences possible

You should always be yourself and stay true to you, because you are already good enough. Your goal should be to become the best version of YOU and have the best life experience possible. The foundations for a happy life are bringing your mind and body into balance and a state of calm.

There is nothing more satisfying in life than:

• Finding the solutions to your problems.
• Answers to your questions.
• Achieving your goals.
• Learning and growing as a human and spiritual being.
• Going beyond your limitations.
• Taking on new challenges.
• Living your life by design and not default
• Becoming emotionally free.
• Taking control of your health and wealth.

Go out there, own yourself and enjoy life!

Bounce back to love

if love is a place, then its the place to be. If its an act, then its the thing to do. If its a feeling, then its the thing to feel.Whatever love is, we just cant do without it.If for any reason you have been disappointed in a relationship in the past, I urge you to love again. You may do it differently, but love you must.

I dont mean to undermine the pain that comes with disappointment and betrayal. But as painful as these are, we cant dwell on them.

You can give up on a relationship, but not love. Love is like the oxygen you need to thrive on.

Do not COMPARE!

You need to realize that each person you date has strengths and weaknesses and therefore refrain from comparing your current partner to your exes – especially unfavorably. Just because an ex was unfaithful does not mean that another partner will be so too. A good partner puts the past in perspective and doesn’t constantly bring up reminders from the past that serve no valuable purpose in the present. Such as something their partner did months or years earlier. Move on!

Empathy

The ideal partner perceives their mate on both an intellectual, observational level and an emotional, intuitive level. This person is able to both understand and empathize with his or her partner. When two people in a couple understand each other, they become aware of the commonalities that exist between them and also recognize and appreciate their differences. When both partners are empathetic, that is, capable of communicating with feeling and with respect for the other person's wants attitudes, and values, each partner feels understood and validated. Developing our ability to be empathetic helps us understand and attune to our partner.

“Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship,” said Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
“Without it, the relationship will struggle to survive.” That’s because empathy requires compassion. And, without compassion, couples can’t develop a bond.

This is how one can enhance empathy:

1. Give your partner genuine attention.
2. Practice loving-kindness.
3. Be self compassionate.
4. Seek out the positive. 
   

Positive Attitude Toward Life

Love is a positive force: It thrives in an atmosphere of positivity and starves in an atmosphere of negativity. Negative people always focus on the problems, and resist solutions. They always find something or someone to complain about, allow fear and worry to rule them, are cynical and pessimistic about the future and don't trust easily.

 

However positive people always focus on finding the solution, turn obstacles into opportunities and adversity into lessons, trust in their ability to make a difference, believe that things can always get better and use their vision to change the reality. 

It is always important to be positive towards life and by this we bring positive energy in a relationship. Here are questions to ask yourself about a positive attitude toward life:

• Do you believe things always turn out for the best? 
• What are some of the most important lessons you've learned about pain in your life?
• When lots of things go wrong at once, how do you react?What goes on in your mind?

Never lose yourself in a relationship

You don’t exactly start dating your significant other with the intention that you’ll lose yourself in the midst of your relationship  and yet, five months later, you look back and wonder just where your sense of self ventured of to.

We all have our passions, friends, families to name but a few. These are some of the things we enter into a relationship with and will stay forever. Do not deprieve yourself from the things you used to do before you got into a relationship with your family, friends and your career. The tip is committed or not you still need your boys, girls, your brothers, sisters, cousins. Those moments we spent with our folk remind us of the Me before the relationship, that its still alive and well. 
 
If your partner is that insecure about you hanging out with your friends, family and still pursuing your goals lets talk about the bigger picture here: Why are you still with him/her? You and your buddies were friends before you started a relationship so why on earth would things change now that you are in one? However lets be careful of some friends who might want to distract our relationships, family members and careers but in the process see that you still are in check with what you wanted ultimately before you got into the relationship as an individual. 

lastly me time is important. There is always need for time alone. some of us are a closet introvert hiding in an extrovert's body, so that quiet, alone time i set aside for myself is literally the difference between life and death.